->you typedd*: blog

(Monday, July 26, 2010-)
+12:33 PM]*

# Day 207 - 2010

Today's reading was just simply comforting. It's basically God just letting me know He's sending me back, and that He'll be with me. I already know His name. He knows my name. He knows where I've been, what I've done. Whether I've been hiding, whether I've been thriving. Whether I'm doing my job well, or whether I'm wandering looking off at other interesting things.

But above all, it's God who wants to bring the people out of their Egypt. It is He who wants to set them free. It is He who has given me a message that I must share. It is His name that will be glorified, through the wonderful rescue plan He has prepared for His people.

And that's all I have. All that I have received, I can give. Of course, learning not to trust in myself is a learning process. I dare to do something because I'm good at it. But in the kingdom, it's the opposite. Not because of some weird reverse psychology thing. It's because what I really want to do, only God can do. Only God can touch hearts, speak to clam the storms in life, deal with the issues inside.

So where does that leave me? Not very stressed because the majority is God's part. My part is just to deliver what He has done, like a fire, shut up in my bones :)

the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, July 22, 2010-)
+3:00 PM]*

# Day 203 - 2010

It's been up and down, in and out, but today I choose to rejoice in the Lord, to come back to Him, and even though my emotions don't tell me so, I know He'll take me back.

And yeah, that's what today's reading was like, though it was the physical. Even though the Israelites didn't see in the physical that God was going to take them out, cuz everything was going well, Joseph knew that God would come.

I guess that applies to me emotionally, though right now I don't feel the closest to God, but I know that there is where God wants me to be. And I'll work towards that.

the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, July 15, 2010-)
+12:22 AM]*

# Day 195 - 2010

Today was cell day. Shared my exchange story. Am very tired and not ready to pack off to Malaysia. A little disappointed with myself for not getting enough souvenirs for my family. Still need to work on that one.

Had a good catch up with Claire and Becs yesterday, today was Xiuyu and Jocelyn. Tmr's Shums and possibly Zsa. God is good.

Today's reading, what stood out for me was a reminder about conflicts. Israel/Jacob wanted Joseph back and wanted the security of having Benjamin around and wanted to keep his life. He demanded it of his sons, who were unable to give it to him. Guilty, but unable to give it to him. And that's how conflicts start, When we cannot get what we want.

Secondly it's not to procrastinate hard decisions. If they have to be done, just do it. You'll make more progress that way. Twice back and forth in today's reading.

Nitez!

the story ends like this;
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(Tuesday, July 13, 2010-)
+11:21 AM]*

# Day 194 - 2010

Alright! This day hasn't started too bad! Woke up relatively early! Feeling better, Ear pressures stabilizing. This is another day that God has made, and I will make the choice to rejoice. Lots of things to get done, but yay! I get the chance to read what God has for me, and spend some time praying to God. Talking and not shopping :)

So today's reading coincided with what Maddy sent, about copying parents.

When Jacob learned that there was food in Egypt, he said to his sons, "Why do you sit around here and look at one another? I've heard that there is food in Egypt

The question Jacob asked his sons became something like what God would be asking me. God knows the plans He has for me, and for some, He has even given me His promise and reassurance that it will happen! So what am I doing sitting around "doing nothing?". God has told me that there is "food" in "Egypt". There are things that I need to grow but they are not where I am. I have to push myself further to get what I want.

So why didn't the brothers go and just "lazed around"? No clear direct reason is given, but I can think of a few logical ones

1) They were still feeling guilty about their deeds

Feeling of guilt does a few things to people

i) Traps you in a lower level in life. You feel you're unworthy to help others because you're in no position to do so. The guilt and condemnation of being a bad person prevents you from trying to do good for others or even yourself.

ii) Skews your reality of your situation. When they got into trouble with the new Joseph, they thought God was punishing them. Guilty people live in fear of punishment. They feel they deserve it, and usually the Almighty is seen as the one who is out to punish us for our wrongs. This makes us trapped in guilt even longer because the only way to be free is to turn to Him, but our perspective of Him has been skewed to think He is the one behind all our other troubles to punish us.

2) Actually, I can just somehow only link it back to their guilt

they have probably also lost the zeal and zest for living? So they just look at one another, all with the "I know we're guilty" face and then not feel like doing anything about it.

Yup. That's what I feel God speaking for today, and for me, it's really to move on to do what God the Father is telling me. To go get the food in Egypt now that I'm back here in SG and soon MY. Don't let the past mistakes or skewed perceptions hinder me anymore :)

the story ends like this;
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+12:24 AM]*

# Day 194 - 2010

Back in Singapore and super tired. Roland, Chel, Ethan and BeL came to pick me up! God was good. Kept my ears from pain though it's stuffed up! Planned lots of meets up over the course of the day :)

Reading from Genesis

The famine was God's plan. In it, Joseph rose to prominence, was reunited with his family and Pharaoh gained control over the whole of Egypt. God does use bad circumstance to execute his perfect will.

Secondly, God does things in the suddenly-s. He usually doesn't tell you all the steps. One day you're in prison on false accusations, and the VERY SAME DAY, you're in charge of the whole of Egypt, second to Pharaoh and start work right after your hearing! God is not slow to bring about what He wants to do. He has His own timetable, and is able to go from the depths to the heights in an instant. Our God is a deliverer :)

Nitez!

the story ends like this;
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(Saturday, July 10, 2010-)
+9:12 AM]*

# Day 191 - 2010

The day after conference. And it's true, right after conference, you're still closer to God than you've ever been. After been saturated for 4 days 5 nights of intense "feeding", today's QT was quite a breeze.

It's the story of Joseph and what I learnt was about excellence.

Joseph was in a jail in chapter 40. Yet we all know he prospered in there. I believe it's down to his spirit of excellence in whatever he does. And from the offset, let me redefine excellence to myself. I always thought of it as doing things as close to perfect as possible as my reasonable service to God. But since Hillsong conference, God has helped me refine that definition. To me, excellence is about doing my work to give the people I serve the best encounter of God, so that whatever glory there is, it is seen as God's. It's really about God and then people. Yup, the work bit itself doesn't even appear on the top two. And that's something new to me in excellence (especially in ministering/serving).

So Joseph was in prison, and we hear that he asked two of the prisoners under his care why were they sad. And they actually told him their problems. Firstly, this is only possible if you actually care about the people you look after. If you can actually notice their emotions and what they're going through to bring you to the step of actually asking them if everything's ok. So the excellence that Joseph had in prison that made him prosper was the his excellence service of the people he looked after. It wasn't about making sure they all ate their meals, on time, cleaned up, were respectful etc. It was about having a good relationship with the people, and taking notice of their needs and not being caught up with his own appearance before the jailer.

Secondly, he noticed that they were sad. OF COURSE PEOPLE IN PRISON ARE SAD! This other lesson we learn is that excellence in helping is just doing what is seen/circumstantial. It's not because people are sad in prison, we set them free. Neither do stressed people in exams need exam tips, or depressed people need 5 steps to overcome depression. Joseph obviously would expect people in prison to be sad, yet through the relationship he had, he noticed it wasn't the usual sadness, and he went beyond the seen circumstance to ask them what was bothering them, what the real issue was. Excellence in serving is not just about solving problems, it's meeting the needs behind the apparent problem. That's real excellence in serving.

And lastly it's the attitude in serving that must also be excellent. Joseph maintains that he has done nothing wrong to be put in prison. He isn't bitter about the situation and say that someone falsely accused me to put me in here. Instead, he views his circumstance from the viewpoint of who he was serving. He served Potiphar and to him, that was the relationship that mattered, that he had done nothing to wrong Potiphar that put him in prison. He wasn't bitter against the wife who falsely accused him but his conscience from the perspective of the master he served. Likewise, when we get into trouble or when dealing with problems, we must check ourselves from God's perspective, if we have done anything to wrong Him, rather than wrestle against flesh and blood!

Oh yeah! Now it's time to apply that to my life!

the story ends like this;
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