Watched Built To Last today. I think it'll be one of those rare times I blog about what's going on in Adelaide. Don't really have a scripture that's speaking to me, but rather a line from BTL that's just stuck in me now.
Well, today was a rather nice day I guess. Started off with crashing another tutor's class, Maria to be exact. Tweeted about how the computer in that room only had space for 2 USBs and she couldn't copy her ppt over unless she removed either the mouse or keyboard, really funny! But that's not all, the class was on Greek Comedy, mostly Aristophanes, which was even funnier. I think I'll be crashing her class every week form now on, cuz her tutes are better :)
Then went for Elvis to U2, oh man, saw the sample exam questions... I'm dead! Really... But at least I now know Mahalia Jackson and Aretha Franklin :)
Then went for prayer and prayed for the upcoming E-vents (yes I made this term up), and gave thanks for MFG and the few testimonies I've heard over fb/twitter/gmail.
Then went down to the beach with Chloe and Aaron and nua-ed away.
Then went to Coles to buy stuff for tmr's BYO BBQ at Heywood park. Met like THE WHOLE WORLD there... Everyone's buying stuff for the long holiday weekend! Haha, shall not name who I met there, cuz I don't know everyone's names :P But at least 5 people!
Then I came back and slept. So hungry from fasting for 1 day. Sad eh? But I'm getting there. Breaking fast in 5 minutes. Oh how I've waited for this...
Anyway, back to the musical. It was the line Grace's character was playing.
"I remember I just always felt so safe and secure with You, just knowing that Your love for me is unconditional and unfailing no matter what" -minute 37:00-37:07.
I've heard those lines before so many times. So many times I've declared it, prayed it, said it, preached it, talked it, sang it. That Your love is unconditional and unfailing. The words were nothing new, but the setting was. I know cuz I identified with the scene. It finally clicked in me, how insecure love is. I know because I've been there. I've felt those days, when I would feel. Does she still love me. Or even worse, do I still love her. The days we fought, waking up thinking, does she still love me. Do I still love her. Is this love enough to make it to the end. I guess I know the answer now. It's such a dreaded feeling as I think about it once again. Not being sure if you're being loved in return. Or even just plainly loved. When the circumstances are just so bad. When you know that you've messed up. When I know that I'm too proud to admit I'm wrong, or just afraid of the pain it'll bring.
In a way, I've been there. Feeling the pain of insecure love. A constant state of flux. That's no way to build something to last. And I guess I've never appreciated secure love in the same way after watching Built To Last. That now I know, from experience as the AMP Bible would say, how secure and unfailing God's love is. How good, such a privilege to have someone to love me, without me having to worry if I've been good enough. I don't have to worry have "I talked to you enough" or have "I spent enough time with you" or "Did I say the right thing" or "Did I act the right way". All these fears never existed in my relationship with You. Simply because You were preached to me that way. Unconditional love. I never once felt truly worried and insecure in the inside, if You still could love me, because I knew that I would never sin enough to be lost forever, that I could turn back to You anytime, without having to "prove myself" or "work my way up again".
Such a lover I have. Yes I'm single. But today, I'm just loving my Saviour, just because His love for me just gives me such security. That I don't have to worry ever, if my God loves me, because it's not whether He does, but it's just simply that He IS.
Yup, that's my reflection for today. I know it's Good Friday and all, people everywhere talking about the cross, and the resurrection, but today, just today, I wanna just spend some time thanking my lover for His unfailing and unconditional love towards me. And I guess as the improvised song said "In the pain, there is healing", I now can see at least more thing I learnt from my break-up, the value of unfailing and securing love. And I pray that one day my future wife can say that I love her as Christ loved the church. With a love that is so secure, she would never need to worry, wonder or fear if her husband loves her. Simply because he is love towards her.