->you typedd*: blog

(Sunday, April 25, 2010-)
+8:06 PM]*

# God's Plan

Today has been a pretty emotional day. Disclaimer, not the sad-emo-depressed kind of emotional. The other kind.

It started off rather normal. Apart from the fact I was running to catch the bus to church. Everything else seemed normal. Until I stepped through the doors of C3 Unley (C3U).

The ushers were there. All 4 of them. That's already unusual for a church with a usual attendance of about 20. A fifth at the door? Then there was this "TOP SECRET" letter handed out. It was for a love offering. It was to be our last service at this venue as C3U. C3U was closing down today.

After being stunned for a few seconds, then the blow hit me. What's going to happen to Ps Phil and his family? Oh no, am I still going to see my cell? And after quite a while, then I realised, what church am I going to attend?

I've only been at C3U for like, slightly below 2 months? I've begun to like their songs, the sermons were always powerful from the start. The people were nice, friendly and very caring, helpful... ahh...

But perhaps most of all, it was the love that the church had for Ps Phil. He and his wife, Cush, gave the opening address for the day, stating that at Presence 2010, they had clearly heard from God that they were to close down C3U. To me, if I were in their shoes, I couldn't have waited any longer. The church is only left with about 20 or less per sunday service. 5-7 were on the music/sound team. Leaving about 10 in the congregation. If I were them, that would have been utterly depressing.

But Ps Phil and his wife Cush were the epitome of optimism. They knew exactly what they had been called to. And that certainly wasn't numbers, or acclaim. It was to touch lives. And as they recounted the things God had done through C3U, I was already tearing up, though I wasn't part of any of these amazing memories. But still, it was so touching to hear all that God had done through them and the most amazing part was the optimism that they had about what God is going to do once this chapter is closed.

Ps Phil proceeded to lead praise and worship as he always did on the piano and lead us to give God the very very best praise and worship. In his words, to "go out with a bang!" Then Ps Bruce gave the offering message, Cush prayed over the prayer requests, and Ps Phil gave his last sermon as Pastor of C3U on "The Power of Change".

Then after that, the members got the chance to say a few words, mostly of appreciation, of praise and of hope for the future. In the words of Roland, rare we get a chance to do this while the person is still alive! I'm so gonna miss the humour at C3U!

Okie, it's getting too emotional just thinking of it all once again.

We prayed for Ps Phil and his family and officially ended the last service.

I guess I just wanted to pen down (figuratively in this age of course), my thoughts and appreciation for what I've learnt over the past few weeks.

The main thing is of course how Ps Phil and his wife handled the entire thing. I compare it with me and my journey in YA, my "setbacks" are so tiny compared to his, and how I reacted to it is so shameful compared to him. I thought it was a setback, but Ps Phil's address showed me that it's so obvious that it's God working it out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His name. My thinking and expectations are so small and immature. I am truly grateful to have been able to see how a real man of God deals with major changes like this.

And then there my cell group. Mike and Jess. Such a sweet and caring couple! Not to mention Mike is an awesome bass player! I wish I could have learnt more of the bass from you! You're really good mannn! Especially in the last service, I noticed the little riffs and fills! Jess too, such a good worship leader!

There's Norman and Ruth! Norman, thanks for everything! The many rides back home, being superbly caring and praying for me, keeping me informed and checking up on me! Ruth, also awesomely caring, and just so easy to talk to!

Of course Ryan and Chantelle. Ryan, awesome drummer. Like seriously. I would love to have been able to play bass beside you. Just so passionate in your craft! And not to mention the awesome side of his graphic design skills. Even more things I wished I had learnt a thing or two from you. Photoshop skills mannnn! And Chantelle, the best gtalk friend online, and friend offline! Always with a funny story to tell and your guinea pigs get a special mention too! I learnt about the rice bags from you too/two! So much "aussie culture" that I can learn from you :P

Sam and Jo! Sam you're like an uber genius! Your research is just awesome man. I pray that God will just grant you breakthrough after breakthrough, discovery after discovery! I still remember that stem cell beach ball you brought! Haha! And Jo! Always the life of the party! Cell was always awesome with you!

Ahhh.. and the many other people in church. It's tough when God's plan includes closing down a church. I don't really understand it. Why can't all churches grow and "prosper"? Why can't it? I guess only time and obedience to His call and vision will unfold the answer.

Till then, hope to keep in touch with you guys. Happy ANZAC Day. Had a chat with May Lynn who just got bombarded by my emotional day. Thanks for hanging in there.

Till we meet again!

the story ends like this;
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(Friday, April 16, 2010-)
+9:47 AM]*

# Day 106 - 2010

Ahh, my nose.. This cold weather really isn't my cup of tea. Not that I even drink tea to start with!

Today's reading is more of a collection of a few days of reading. The main point here is that Luke chapter 2 spoke to me about obedience to doing what you're supposed to be doing. There are times when God speaks to you when you're doing what you're not supposed to be or normally doing. But in this chapter, it speaks to me just plainly about going about life, being obedient to God.

Ahh my nose.

These are just the few I can remember/came to mind.

Joseph and Mary, obeyed the kings orders to be counted in their home country. Even while they were about to have a baby.

The shepherds well, were just minded their own sheep. Even at night they weren't slacking off. But then again, the angels light may have woken them up anyway. But the angels could have just looked for other shepherds that were awake.

Simeon was just doing his job. Joseph and Mary were just obeying the law. And they both were rewarded.

Anna, well, she just stayed in the temple really long. Really faithful I would say.

So all in all, it's just a simple message to keep doing the things that you did at first.

Amen.

the story ends like this;
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(Tuesday, April 13, 2010-)
+12:29 PM]*

# Day 103 - 2010

It's been a while, and this is my first post here post-conference.

The Birth of Jesus

¹ At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire. ² (This was the first census taken when Quirinius was governor of Syria.) ³ All returned to their own ancestral towns to register for this census. ⁴ And because Joseph was a descendant of King David, he had to go to Bethlehem in Judea, David’s ancient home. He traveled there from the village of Nazareth in Galilee. ⁵ He took with him Mary, his fiancée, who was now obviously pregnant.

⁶ And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. ⁷ She gave birth to her first child, a son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.

Just the thoughts of what Joseph and Mary had to go through. Firstly, the timing of the census couldn't have been worse. In a day without motorized vehicles, a pregnant woman had to travel from Nazareth to Bethlehem. A quick Google of that shows that the distance is about 140km! Considering that it was a global census, many caravans would have been available, but Joseph probably walked on foot, while Mary sat on a donkey. The fastest time possible would have been 4 days. The expected time would be at least a week, if they avoided Samaria.

I mean Mary would definitely have something to say about it to God. Why on earth would He have to choose the time when she was "obviously pregnant" before getting the emperor of the Roman Empire to conduct the census. This is of course assuming Mary is super spiritual and not cursing the emperor for being so unreasonable to require everyone to "balik kampung" just so that he can get statistics.

The journey itself wouldn't have been pleasant. Everyone had to uproot their life for a week or two just to travel, I'm sure the roads weren't filled with "Christian" drivers. And trust me, Christians aren't exactly Christians when they're driving. And not to mention that 50% of the Joseph crew was pregnant.

When they finally get there, I'm sure it would have been nice for God to provide a place for them to stay. But not even that was given to them. They had endured an arduous journey to say the least, the shame of travelling A WEEK on the road with EVERYONE ELSE with your PREGNANT FIANCEE. I mean God surely could be more reasonable than that. But they had to give birth to their firstborn in an animal barn. Joseph could have easily said "What happened to God my Provider?"

But in all this, they were obedient. They didn't once complain. Amazing. For me, that's only possible when you know that God is the one that told you to do all these things. It's that personal revelation from God. That dream that God birthed within you. That you would go through all that hassle. When the circumstances seem unreasonable, when God doesn't seem to provide, when people aren't exactly your friends, and you seem to even just be doing your daily life when you need to obey a conquering emperor to pack up and take a two week vacation. I mean, Mary gave birth in Nazareth, how close to giving birth was she on the journey?? How much faith would it take if you were within days of your wife giving birth, not to obey God, but just the order of an emperor? But because they knew it was God in all this, they had the peace to continue their journey. And in their obedience, "the hopes and fears of all the years are met in Thee tonight".

They lived for something bigger than themselves. They paid the price to bring the biggest blessing into the world. And if even God's only Son was not spared hardship in the birthing process, how much more we should expect that the devil would want to sow tares where there is good seed. But all in all, through the hardships, the prophecies will come true, hopes will turn into satisfaction. Dreams, a reality :)

the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, April 1, 2010-)
+9:15 PM]*

# Day 91 - 2010

Watched Built To Last today. I think it'll be one of those rare times I blog about what's going on in Adelaide. Don't really have a scripture that's speaking to me, but rather a line from BTL that's just stuck in me now.

Well, today was a rather nice day I guess. Started off with crashing another tutor's class, Maria to be exact. Tweeted about how the computer in that room only had space for 2 USBs and she couldn't copy her ppt over unless she removed either the mouse or keyboard, really funny! But that's not all, the class was on Greek Comedy, mostly Aristophanes, which was even funnier. I think I'll be crashing her class every week form now on, cuz her tutes are better :)

Then went for Elvis to U2, oh man, saw the sample exam questions... I'm dead! Really... But at least I now know Mahalia Jackson and Aretha Franklin :)

Then went for prayer and prayed for the upcoming E-vents (yes I made this term up), and gave thanks for MFG and the few testimonies I've heard over fb/twitter/gmail.

Then went down to the beach with Chloe and Aaron and nua-ed away.

Then went to Coles to buy stuff for tmr's BYO BBQ at Heywood park. Met like THE WHOLE WORLD there... Everyone's buying stuff for the long holiday weekend! Haha, shall not name who I met there, cuz I don't know everyone's names :P But at least 5 people!

Then I came back and slept. So hungry from fasting for 1 day. Sad eh? But I'm getting there. Breaking fast in 5 minutes. Oh how I've waited for this...

Anyway, back to the musical. It was the line Grace's character was playing.

"I remember I just always felt so safe and secure with You, just knowing that Your love for me is unconditional and unfailing no matter what" -minute 37:00-37:07.

I've heard those lines before so many times. So many times I've declared it, prayed it, said it, preached it, talked it, sang it. That Your love is unconditional and unfailing. The words were nothing new, but the setting was. I know cuz I identified with the scene. It finally clicked in me, how insecure love is. I know because I've been there. I've felt those days, when I would feel. Does she still love me. Or even worse, do I still love her. The days we fought, waking up thinking, does she still love me. Do I still love her. Is this love enough to make it to the end. I guess I know the answer now. It's such a dreaded feeling as I think about it once again. Not being sure if you're being loved in return. Or even just plainly loved. When the circumstances are just so bad. When you know that you've messed up. When I know that I'm too proud to admit I'm wrong, or just afraid of the pain it'll bring.

In a way, I've been there. Feeling the pain of insecure love. A constant state of flux. That's no way to build something to last. And I guess I've never appreciated secure love in the same way after watching Built To Last. That now I know, from experience as the AMP Bible would say, how secure and unfailing God's love is. How good, such a privilege to have someone to love me, without me having to worry if I've been good enough. I don't have to worry have "I talked to you enough" or have "I spent enough time with you" or "Did I say the right thing" or "Did I act the right way". All these fears never existed in my relationship with You. Simply because You were preached to me that way. Unconditional love. I never once felt truly worried and insecure in the inside, if You still could love me, because I knew that I would never sin enough to be lost forever, that I could turn back to You anytime, without having to "prove myself" or "work my way up again".

Such a lover I have. Yes I'm single. But today, I'm just loving my Saviour, just because His love for me just gives me such security. That I don't have to worry ever, if my God loves me, because it's not whether He does, but it's just simply that He IS.

Yup, that's my reflection for today. I know it's Good Friday and all, people everywhere talking about the cross, and the resurrection, but today, just today, I wanna just spend some time thanking my lover for His unfailing and unconditional love towards me. And I guess as the improvised song said "In the pain, there is healing", I now can see at least more thing I learnt from my break-up, the value of unfailing and securing love. And I pray that one day my future wife can say that I love her as Christ loved the church. With a love that is so secure, she would never need to worry, wonder or fear if her husband loves her. Simply because he is love towards her.

the story ends like this;
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